I have a half finished piece which mocks flat-billed Cardinal prospects but Derrick Goold beat me to the punch. Apparently through diligent research and reporting, not blind accusations and satire, it is possible to find a real value for ball players not bending their caps on the field. But outside the foul lines I fear that young adults not bending the bill of their cap may be a crying for help. What remains unclear is whether their issues stem from juvenile delinquency due to their MMA or NASCAR loving parents, being closetedly curious individuals afraid to express their love for their entourage, or general self-loathing despite the privilege that comes with being raised in America.

Tuesday night when the Blues closed their parking garage before the game, I was convinced that it was a plot to make fans walk in the rain, creating a demand for Blues umbrellas available in the team gift shop. It was a clever conspiracy theory, but much like 9/11 it doesn't stand up to basic fact checking. The Blues don't even offer an umbrella in their gift shop. It's amazing how a revelation like that can change your perspective of an entire organization.  Now instead of believing that the St. Louis Blues are run by slick marketing geniuses, I feel they're a bake-sale level amateur club curtaining off the window to the big picture.  Of course if I would have initially realized they're still a part of Gary Bettman's NHL, I would have drawn that conclusion from the beginning.

This strange occurrence in Montana has me puzzled.  How can a 150 pound high school kid break a backboard?  What are they feeding kids up there?  And why is anyone disqualifying a team for that nonsense?  There's no way a 150 pound kid breaks a backboard unless the thing was faulty to begin with.  People will argue that the rules are black and white until the Mayan calendar ends and our whole existence is nullified, but the refs didn't care about dunking during warm ups until the backboard got broken and someone had to take the responsibility.  Sounds eerily similar to the financial crisis.  Perhaps the refs were government employees or former financial planners.  Is there no gray area anywhere anymore?  If I could dunk a ball in high school at 5' 11", 150 pounds, I'm going to do it every damn time I get the opportunity.  If you want to suspend the kid from the game and give the team a technical do it, but don't take the game away from the rest of the kids.  This isn't the military, this isn't boot camp, it's a high school game. 

Jonathan Papelbon called Manny Ramirez a cancer. What kind of cancer has two championship rings, hits .333 in Boston's two October triumphs, and wins a World Series MVP?  Perhaps Manny can be prone to childish and irresponsible acts, but the majority of those are levied against the media or his own handlers. None of his trivial indiscretions can take away what he gives his team between the foul lines. Papelbon has a great career so far, but he's only four years into it. It may be more appropriate for Mr. Riverdance to wait until he's 37, and finishing up a hall of fame career, before questioning the attitude of a player he's lucky to have once called a teammate.

Can sports reporting jump the shark? ESPN could jump the shark with any number of shows, but how about a website? What is the website equivalent of “jumping the shark”? What can properly summarize the desperation to improve dwindling readership numbers by creating inane headlines? Is it “posting the box”, “name dropping the juicer”, or “glorifying the arrest”?   Why would Fox Sports refer to Albert Haynesworth getting two minor traffic tickets as “$100 Million Man indicted on 2 charges”?

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